


These Warm Hands

by AzuraJae



Series: All Faded, Renewed For Her [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Character Study, F/M, POV Solas, Pre-Slash, Spoilers, Takes place during A Heart Shall Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 06:12:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16781236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzuraJae/pseuds/AzuraJae
Summary: When the Herald of Andraste was not behind them when they ran from the dragon, everyone assumed the worst. And so did Solas.





	These Warm Hands

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing a bunch of oneshots after I finished DA:I (Trespasser as well) between Solas and Lavellan. I was just so broken-hearted after it ended. I didn't know about who Solas was going in and that really just broke me. I wrote a bunch of onehots and I decided to share these as part of a series: All Faded, Renewed For Her, which are several oneshots that kind of take place between the blanks of each main mission. This series is also sort of a giant character study on Solas, partly me just trying to understand why he did the things he does. Maybe a coping mechanism.
> 
> Also, if you're wondering why the Lavellan in this story is never referred to by her first name, I've decided to write this as close as I can to how the game tells it. The game never refers to the Inquisitor by their first name except through codexs and such. So the duration of series, I will also write it a very similar way. That way, you, my dear readers, are able to put your own Inquisitor into the story if you wish. 
> 
> Some notes however, this fic takes place during A Heart Shall Burn. The Lavellan in this variation of story is a mage, who sided with the mages. I will inform you at the beginning of each fic in the series which decisions are made.
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

When Solas had heard the explosion behind him, he knew that something had gone wrong. He had glanced over his shoulder to see Lavellan staring down a dragon, Corypheus on the other side, boxing her completely in. She wasn’t going to escape, there was no way she could. Nonetheless his instinct made him to want to turn and attempt to help, but Varric had grabbed his hand, pulling him in the direction of the Chantry, away from her.

“We’ve got to go, Chuckles.” the dwarf said, dragging him along.

“The Herald?” Cassandra said, not a question really. A statement, more likely. “Can we not do anything?”

There was a roar and the trio looked to see the dragon approaching the Herald, who seemed a lot smaller than she usually did. She glared equally back, standing her ground even though she was obviously terrified. Solas could’ve sworn, she must have glanced at them, out of the corner of her eye. Silent words, telling them to flee while they can. His heart shivered, feeling the weight of what was going to happen.

“She’s holding them off as best she can, Seeker. If we stay, we’ll die here, then her sacrifice will mean nothing.” Varric pushed the two along urgently. “Now let’s go, we’ve got to tell the others.”

He had wanted to object, to say anything at all, but he found truth in his words. They wouldn’t stand a chance against that archdemon and Corypheus as they are now. Solas couldn’t allow himself to fall here, he still had things he had to do. Even though Lavellan had voluntarily resigned herself to this fate in the Chantry earlier, he felt a twinge of regret and guilt as he turned around and was forced to abandon her. Solas didn’t have the heart turn back and watch. It was bad enough that this stemmed all from his mistakes, he couldn’t watch someone else take the hit and fall for it.

When they reached Haven’s Chantry, a scout was waiting for them, their eyes lit up as they saw them, but then faltered when she realized that the Herald was not with them, but she steeled herself.

“Seeker Cassandra, I can lead you through the passage.” she told them. “The others have gone ahead.”

“Take us through.” responded Cassandra.

As they made their way through the passage in the Chantry, through a decrepit tunnel that traced through the mountain. They ran, they had to, as fast as they could. Leliana and Cullen came to meet them on the other side. The people of Haven and the Inquisition were nowhere in sight, they had likely moved further into the stretches of the mountain.

The spymaster pursed her lips together and Cullen became grim when they both realized that the Herald was not with them. 

“She still hasn’t used the trebuchet.” observed Varric, looking through the tunnel behind them. Solas realized that she must be buying time for them as well. “I hope the dragon didn’t get her.”

Cassandra grimly pursed her lips. “She bought time for us to escape.” Her voice was laced in remorse.

“The Herald is stronger than that. She won’t fall until it is done.” Solas hoped, at least. Lavellan  _ was  _ strong, but facing a wanna-be god and a dragon is still quite a preposterous feat. He didn't even want to think of the dragon ripping her apart.

“Then we must signal to her that everyone has made it out.” said Cullen. The commander tried to keep a professional look, but he seemed uneasy. Nonetheless, he turned to a soldier that was with them, giving them a nod.

The soldier turned towards the flare, but hesitated, as if he had realized that what he might be doing might lead to the Herald’s death, if she hadn’t fallen to the Archdemon already. He glanced once more at his superiors, who only gave a silent nod. The soldier visibly gulped and lit the flare, sending it up through the frigid mountain air. 

There was a moment of silence as the party watched the flare zoom through the air. Soon after, there was a loud explosion and the distant sound of rocks crushing. Hearing the commotion, Solas and the others watched as half the cliffside collapsed onto Haven and Corypheus’s army, burying it completely in rock and snow. The rumbling of the avalanche shook the ground and the very core of their hearts. Solassaw a shape, a dragon, flying away off into the distance. Corypheus had been defeated, or for better words driven off, for now, at least. 

The group watched in stunned silence as the snow continued to pile on until there was nothing but a mound of snow where Haven once stood. A few tips of the trees poked out from the ground, but there was nothing left. And no sign of the Herald.

“Shit…” Varric breathed, looking down at the snow settling down on Haven. “You don’t think she…” His voice trailed off. 

“She could have-...We can’t say for sure.” Cassandra finished for him. Her voice wavered. “We should... at least make sure. To find a body at least.”

Solas surveyed the mess, but the distance made it difficult for him to discern anything. A whole mountain fell, she would be incredibly lucky to survive this initially. Even if she did, the snow and cold would claim her soon after. He sighed. He must look for another way to stop Corypheus and to obtain the orb, but the future seemed so bleak with the Herald’s disappearance. She was their- his- one chance. Now he was gone.

“We must reach the others.” Leliana told them, the first to turn her back among them. “They should want to know what happened. I can arrange for scouts to keep a look out for her.” She turned away. “But we shouldn’t hope for too much.”

“Hope is all we have.” Cassandra commented, trying to object, but it didn’t look like she believed her own words. She continued to gaze down at the snow, clenching her fists, willing for the Herald of Andraste to rise once more.

Varric turned around as well. “Honestly, after all this, I’m not sure we even have that anymore.”

After a moment or two of more stunned watching, the rest of the group eventually began walking back to the camp up ahead., following Leliana and a pair of scouts and a couple soldiers The walk to catch up with the others was a quiet one, no one had any words to say. The Herald had been their one true hope, she appeared when the world needed her most and closed the breach. She was their one true strength. Even if she wasn’t the leader of the Inquisition, she was the leader in many of the Inquisition’s hearts. 

Her loss would impact the Inquisition greatly. Solas started to believe that it may have impacted him personally more than he would have liked. Not because it interfered with his plans, but also because he had grown quite affectionate of her.

When they arrived back at camp, Josephine was eagerly awaiting them, glad to see that they were alright, though seemed disheartened to see that the Herald didn’t miraculously escape with them. It didn’t take long for news of what happened to their savior spread through the camp like wildfire The news brought the mood and morale of the troops and people felt way down low, lower than it has ever been. A thick fog of fear and hopelessness hung heavy in the air, thicker, more suffocating than the snowstorm that began to swirl around them.

Solas situated himself in one of the tents in the outer of the camp as the snowstorm began to rage on, further diminishing all hope that Lavellan could have survived. He began, contemplating on what was going to happen now that the Herald was likely dead along with the anchor. He had to come up with a new course of action, if he didn’t, he would never be able to carry out his plans to tear down the veil. However, instead of doing that, Solas found himself thinking about Lavellan.

Lavellan had been so kind to him, looking back at her. Even if Solas had been rather rude to her regarding Dalish elves, she never truly admonished him, even apologized on behalf of the Dalish and asking what he would change. Yes, Lavellan was truly unique. She always had interesting questions and he truly enjoyed conversing with her. They often talked for hours in front of the apothecary; he would do most of the talking. Lavellan was a good listener. It had been a long time that he had found someone who felt like they truly understood him, or at least tried to. Her gentle, curious smile. Solas would have liked to see it again, just one more time.

He recalled the determined look on her face as she was standing strong against the enemies she knew she couldn’t win against. Solas knew that she had been afraid, who wouldn’t? But she still carried out what she intended to do, used the trebuchet and saved them all from the wrath of Corypheus. How many would've died if not for her heroic efforts? The people of Haven are alive and have the luxury to live and mourn their losses. Lavellan? It would be a luxury to think she will even get to see another sunrise.

Solas began wondering how she might have died, if she was dead. If she was lucky, she might have been hit in the head with a rock and that would have been the end. Even if Solas would have preferred it that she lived, he didn’t like the idea of her being buried alive under snow, paralyzed and unable to move until she took her last breath; a tortured way to die. Another option would be if she had miraculously avoided the snow and rocks, but then got lost in the blizzard, dying slowly from hypothermia. That didn’t seem like a very nice idea either.

Realistically, there would have been no way that Lavellan would have been able to survive such a disaster. Even if she was one of the strongest people he’s met so far, asking her to survive an encounter with a false god, an archdemon dragon, and an avalanche was too much.

But something inside Solas wished and hope that she would be alive somehow. Solas felt frustrated. To think earlier that day, they were celebrating; she even exchanged words with him. It was strange and frustrating to think that she wouldn’t be there anymore. The guilt he felt for leaving her behind clawed him almost as much as the downfall of the elves.

Solas would mourn her death, for a time.

“It’s okay to wish she survived.” A voice said next to him. Solas turned to see Cole standing next to him.

Solas turned back to the crackle of the small fire inside the tent he had been absent-mindedly tending to. “It’s foolish to waste time on depressing thought.” He replied icily. It wasn't like him to say such things, but given the recent events, he couldn’t help himself.

The young boy didn’t say anything more, and came and sat down next by the fire, next to Solas. He found Cole’s presence quite comforting. Solas didn’t need words of comfort, Cole knew that, and had came to sit next to him. They sat like this until the sky turned dark. Solas watched the scouts that were sent to check for the Herald had turned up with nothing. 

“She’s gone. I can’t find her. Buried underneath the snow, drowning in cold where I cannot see.” Cole said quietly, watching one of the scouts, who hung their head guiltily. “What will happen now?”

Solas watched the scouts return to their tents to rest. Leliana who received the reports merely shook her head and trudged after them.

“Cole, may I ask if you are able hear her?” Solas asked after a moment. 

The spirit tilted his head, listening carefully, but then shook his head. “No. Everything is too loud, the words lost in the storm. There is only grief and sadness here.”

“I should have guessed as much.” Solas didn’t expect anything, but he still felt disappointed.

After the day passed, the leaders of the Inquisition finally decided that they should press on. There had been a big argument on whether or not they should continue searching for the Herald, since there is a small possibility that she  _ might  _ have survived, but the longer they stayed, the more likely they were to perish. A decision was made and they were to press on, to find a safer place to camp, less they succumb to the elements and the Herald would have died for nothing.

With nowhere better to go at the moment, Solas followed them. They changed camps several times, each time growing farther and farther away from Haven. The farther they went, the more hopeless everyone seemed to be. Cole did his best to try keep the spirits up, but there was so much pain, loss, and suffering, it was too much for a single spirit of compassion to handle all at once, but Cole did his best to keep the morale as best as he could keep it. Solas admired his determination.

“She was a good woman.” Dorian said, as they gathered around the fire to eat. “It’s such a shame, what happened to her. I hope her death wasn’t too painful. I’d hate to think she might have been alive under twelve feet of snow.”

“The Herald fought tooth and nail to save everyone, but….” Varric sighed. “I had a feeling that this story was going to end in tragedy.”

“As much as her loss hurts, we cannot let this drag us down.” said Blackwall, trying to keep morale. “We must make an example of her actions.”

“She died with honor, a true warrior’s death.” agreed Iron Bull. He had a drink in his hand. Out of the Inner Circle, it seems that he was the least affected by her death. “We should go after that Corypheus guy in her name.”

Josephine piped up. “But maybe she didn't…” She seemed afraid to continue, as if that would have jinxed their chances of her actually being alive.

Sera was absent-mindedly rolling a snowball in one hand, before she crushed it, letting the snow fall between her fingers. “It isn’t fair. Saved everyone, but she dies.” She shook her head irritably. “Why can’t the hero save everyone  _ and  _ themselves? What good innit if the hero doesn't live? Especially now with that Coryphishite.” Sera made a disgusted look on her face. “Pissballs.” she added for good measure.

“I...I should have been kinder to her.” Cassandra said, looking down onto the fire. 

Feeling irritated by the topic of the conversation, Solas stood up and left the fire. He looked back the way they came and went to the tent in the outer ring of the camp, where he usually stayed. Recently, Solas had found himself unusually frustrated and angry. He wasn’t the type to irrationally lose his temper, but Solas just felt that way now. There was nothing truly he was really angry at. Lavellan wasn’t here, and it was partially from his own doing. It was the right thing to do, but it felt awful. It was an uncomfortable feeling, Solas hoped that he would be able to get over her soon.

Solas chuckled, feeling a little depressed now.

Another day passed with nothing much happening. Solas was about to resign himself to another day of contemplation, when there were suddenly shouts from nearby. 

The apostate hopped onto his feet, to see what the commotion was coming from. There was a hopeful twinge in his heart when he realized that it was coming from the direction of whence they came. He saw figures running towards in the distance, one of them slower and bigger than usual.

And that’s when he spotted her. Right there, Solas felt the most immense feeling of relief and happiness. Solas wasn’t the type to cry, but for a second he felt his eyes water.

Cassandra was running towards the camp, carrying a limp figure on her back. Cullen was close behind, holding whoever Cassandra was carrying with a steady hand.

“Call for a healer!” Cassandra yelled at the soldiers who came to investigate. “She’s alive, the Herald is alive!”

Upon hearing this, heads poked themselves out of tents and came to look. There were audible sounds of shock, echoing among the people. For the first time, there was looks of relief on their faces. Some of the people and soldiers began to gather around, but Cullen appeared.

“All of you, return to your tents. The Herald survived, but she needs rest. We shall inform you of any changes.” Cullen commanded. The people looked like they wanted to object, but Cullen’s troops began ushering people back to the camp, to give her some space.

While Cullen was handling that, a scout that was with them was barreling into camp, to fetch a healer. Realizing that he could help, Solas ran over to Cassandra, who had put down the Herald down near a fire in the outer rings of the camp, attempting to tend to her the best she can until the healer arrives.

Solas didn’t realize how bad Lavellan looked until he arrived by her side. 

Her armor was wrecked, it’s edges frosted with cold and snow, Her skin was practically frozen, but despite this, she wasn’t shivering much any longer, too tired, too cold to try shiver. Shaky breaths indicated that she was still alive, eyes looking frantically about. The Herald’s jaw was slack, her lips tinged blue, parting as she took deep slow breaths. The side of her left eye was slightly pinched, signs of bruising evident around that eye. Splotches of dried blood dotted her dented armor and body here and there. One hand clutching her stomach as she shifted uncomfortably to try ease the pain. Even though she looked just about ready to lose consciousness, she was still glancing around incoherently blinking slowly, trying to take her surroundings, trying to stay awake.

“Hang in there.” Cassandra told her gently. Lavellan made no indication that she heard her.

There was footsteps and they looked up, but it wasn’t the healer as expected. It was another scout. “Lady Cassandra, the healers had left to forage for healing herbs. They have yet to return.”

Cassandra seemed frustrated. “Call them back.  _ Now _ .”

“Lady Leliana has already sent the fastest scout to retrieve them.”

As Cassandra dealt with the dilemma, Solas knelt in front of Lavellan. She slowly looked up at him, her eyes unfocused glassy. It didn’t look like she recognized him. The mark on her hand pulsated occasionally. Pulsing would’ve hurt, but she was probably too numb to feel it. Solas had the cold to thank for that. He instead touched her shoulder and the pulsing stopped. That was solved, at least.

Suddenly, a blanket appeared over her shoulders and Solas looked up to see Cole had appeared with several thick blankets in his hands. He continued to pile the blankets on the disoriented Herald. Solas tucked the blanket around her, trying to keep her comfortable. He would have liked to take off her armor, since the metal was probably attributing to the cold and it was probably uncomfortable, but he sensed more grievous injuries underneath. He should wait for someone properly trained to peel them off and then treat her injuries.

“I made it. The flakes, so cold it burns. It cuts through skin like a sharp razor. I was lost for a long time. But I made it.” Cole muttered, relaying what Solas would have guessed was Lavellan’s thoughts at the moment. “I survived, right?”

Solas found himself smiling a bit. He leaned closed to Lavellan, who finally seemed to understand what was happening. “You survived, lethallin.” he told her, carefully as he could. “You made it.”

She tried to speak, but all that came out was a small puff of air. 

“Do notspeak. Relax.” he told her softly.

He carefully took off her gloves, putting them to the side and taking her hands in his. Her fingers were practically ice, but thankfully still had a bit of color left in them. He let magic course through his fingers and his hands began to heat up with fire magic, warming her hands. Solas was no healer, but this was the least he could do. Cole came over and crouched next to them, close to Lavellan, almost like he hoped his close presence would warm her up.

Solas did his best to keep her warm until a could healer arrive. Cassandra had disappeared, possibly to physically track down the healers. They had left at a rather ill time. Lavellan stayed awake, looking into random directions or flinching, as if she was trying to check if she was still alive or perhaps checking to see if she was in control of her body. Solas didn’t let go of her hands, holding her fragile frozen digits in his. Even though her hands were much colder than his, Solas actually found them quite warm in a way. Bruised and battered, her delicate hands felt comfortable in his.

Eventually, a healer did finally arrive and by then, some of the color had returned to Lavellan’s face and skin. As soon as the Herald saw the healer, she finally lost consciousness was immediately taken to another tent for more intensive care. It had only occurred to Solas that she must’ve forced herself to stay awake until help properly arrived. As unaware she’s become, she had strong survival instincts. . He admired her determination.

The mage would have liked to stay by her side, but he shouldn’t disturb the healers with his presence. Nonetheless, he was very thankful she survived. She had clearly shown her mettle by surviving all that  _ and _ also managed to track them both through the blizzard mountain somehow. When she was well enough, he would like to speak to her again. To discuss more important matters but also because he had dearly missed talking to her. Solas was honestly surprised at himself. He had never done something like this before with anyone, not even a spirit. 

Realizing this, he frowned. He knew that he shouldn’t let himself get carried away by her, no matter how enchanting she is. The plan still needed to be carried out, he shouldn’t allow himself to get to attached to her. It would hurt them both gravely later on.

“Warm. These warm hands... ” Cole commented cryptically, but pleased, breaking Solas’s thoughts, looking at the tent the Herald had been taken to. “They felt nice…”

Solas looked questionably at Cole, but the young man had disappeared once again. Someone else must have needed his help. He wasn’t sure who Cole was reading into, his or hers, but a smile tugged at his lips at the thought. Solas took a good look at his hands, remembering her hands in his.

He supposed, it did not matter.

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wondered what was going on through Solas's head when the Herald 'died' at Haven because if they died, there was no way to stop Corypheus and get the orb. This is just my interpretation of it, from a romanced Lavellan point of view anyway. Writing Solas is fairly difficult, due to the complexity and thought put into his dialogue, especially with the poetic tones he often puts. It was kinda fun studying his way of speech for this fic and future others, but I hope I didn't mess it up. 
> 
> If anyone is wondering, my Lavellen is named Emrys, a fairly angry Mage Knight-Enchanter who likes hitting things with a magical sword than staying back. I thought I might share with you all. 
> 
> I've got about three fics after this oneshot, all written out and ready to go, as soon as I finish proofreading it ten times. More fics may be on the way, I'm not sure.
> 
> Thanks very much for reading.


End file.
